That's right. an itchy butt!

I have to admit I'm normally a slacker mom. If my kids wear the same clothes around the house 2 days in a row, I'm not bothered whatsoever. If we're a little late to preschool, that's ok too. I usually go out without makeup, and almost noone in this house has matching socks on at any given time. This morning it was time to take Alex to his class at our gym, and he was pretty dirty, but I just put a clean shirt on the kid, wiped the schmutz from breakfast off his face, and hoped that was good enough. We got to his class just a few minutes late, which is basically on time for us, and all was well. He came out of his class when it was over and brought me his socks and shoes. I was sitting with some of the other moms from his class and the next class full of moms and tots was waiting out there alongside us. I'm putting his socks and shoes on and noticing that I should have paid more attention to the kid at breakfast. He had gunk all over his pants. Sometimes being a slacker doesn't pay. Note to self: Check his clothes better the next time you let him repeat an outfit. Oh well, at least he's not the smelly kid, though he does need a haircut in addition to cleaner pants. We are almost finished with the shoes, and he announces at the top of his voice, almost as if with some joy about the fact, "My Butt Itches!" If you know Alex, you know he doesn't have any volume control, so when I pulled him to me hoping to get him to be quiet I knew there was little hope. I asked him not to say that again, but obviously some people had heard him and were giggling because the mom beside me (a friend from church who knows Alex pretty well) said, "What did you say, Alex?" I have to say that she is probably the most polite person I know, so I was horrified that he was about to repeat this to her. She probably wasn't too shocked by what he said because she's been around him enough, but I was mortified when he says even louder now, "I said My Butt Itches!" At that I just lost it. I pulled him in to me so he would at least be muffled if he said anything else, and I couldn't stop laughing. I was a bit embarrassed as you can imagine, but to my chagrin, she still didn't understand what he said (It was VERY clear to ME!), so she asked him again. And again, he makes his announcement. Again, she didn't understand him, but she has noticed that I'm dying and there are tears streaming down my face. I can barely speak, but she gets it (bless her heart!) and says to me this time, "I still couldn't understand what he said, but maybe you don't want me to ask him again." So I get it out, "He said his butt itches," and she just says, "Oh!"
That's right, I'm the lady with the shaggy kid in grimey jeans, mis-matched socks, and an itchy BUTT! Yay me!