Does this happen to you?

I remember after having Kylie I was so jealous when I would see a pregnant woman. I loved being a mom (I was a really good mom when I only had 1 kid), but I missed being pregnant. I also was sort of sad that I would never have another "first pregnancy" and "first baby," and like lots of women I have since felt the urge to share my pregnancy and birthing experiences with anyone who would listen. It's always puzzled my husband that women get together and discuss this so often, even in mixed company. I think it really just invades his comfort zone to have to hear about a group of other women's vaginal adventures and breasticular woes. My friend Margaret suggests that we pretend that everyone else on the planet is born with molded on underwear (like a Ken doll), and we should never concede that they could come off. Ryan likes this school of thought, though I assure him that he is taking advice from someone who doesn't mind a bit of delusional thinking if it makes her feel better. (um, Margaret, if you're reading this, what can I say? you know it's true!)
Okay, I digress, but what really made me think about this was a book I just finished. I knew from nearly the beginning that this was going to have a bad ending, but I kept going, thinking it was just a bout of pessimism making me think this way. The book was about a couple who meet each other, get pregnant, and then get married, the struggles they have getting to know each other once they are married, and complications toward the end of the pregnancy. Ultimately, the mother gives birth to a healthy baby and dies immediately after delivery from some freak complication that couldn't have been anticipated or corrected. Ok, my fault because I had a feeling that was coming and read the stupid book anyway, but it seems like every time I get pregnant, I hear, watch, or read something that makes me totally anxious about what could happen. Not what's likely to happen, but worst case scenario type stuff. Part of it is the aforementioned phenomenon of women sitting around telling labor/delivery stories. Ineveitably someone had an epidural from hell, a doctor or hospital from hell, or someone knew someone who died from the epidural or some other rare occurance not likely to ever happen. The thing is that noone stops to think that it's NOT OK to tell these horror stories to pregnant women. So, I do not watch A Baby Story when I'm pregnant or even considering getting pregnant, and I don't watch lots of dramatic medical shows around that time, because I don't want to get freaked out, but I read books all the time withouth thinking they are going to do that to me. So now I'm mad at myself for finishing that book because, to this point (17 weeks), I have avoided any sort of undo anxiety about the what ifs, and then I walked right into the emotional trap of this novel.
Well, today I was catching up on reading friends' blogs, and I clicked on a link on a friend's blog. It turns out to be a blog written by a labor and delivery nurse, and it's the perfect antidote for my baby birthing worries. It is mostly quite funny, and it helped me remember that tons of crazy women do this every day, and sometimes the only ill effect is a perturbed nurse or two. Here it is :

http://itsababynotbrainsurgery.blogspot.com/

Meanwhile, I am just not feeling the writing bug much. Oh, the muses (Ryan and the kids) are active and still full of fuel for my blogging fire, but I just can't seem to get my mind into gear to write anything worth a read. However, while perusing blogs, I did notice that I've been tagged (thanks, Ashley), so now I am supposed to come up with some secret shames to tell you about. That's got me thinking about all the not so great things I do, but it may take me some time to sort through them and decide what I'll divulge. Maybe I should have pretended I didn't notice. Oh well. Till then . . . .