I like Lists

I stay home with the kids, and that's a busy job. That said, it is not always mentally engaging in every way. Sometimes I find my mind wandering to odd places as I'm doing laundry or dishes or wiping a butt (I know that I shouldn't be doing that anymore, but I have control issues, so back off!), and today it led me to a new list. I like lists by the way. It some sort of coping mechanism, and it makes my husband a little crazy from time to time. This one was different from the usual, so here you go, for anyone who cares.....
My new list of 5 Things I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Do

1. Use a computer
Really all I know how to do is type and check email. Ryan says computers do lots more than that, but so far I haven't seen anything.....no....I take it back, I can play one MEAN game of FreeCell. I used to wonder what on earth Ryan does with the computer so I would open things, deem them useless and delete them. He didn't like that. Once I downloaded a virus (still don't know how) and he had to reformat the hard drive. That seemed like maybe it was a big deal, but it's not typing, email or FreeCell, so it really didn't affect me.

2. Talk to people when I'm cranky
You've probably all witnessed it, so I really don't need to explain, and now that I don't live in Alabama I like to blame it on being from there. If I'm cranky, I just have no desire to filter my thoughts before they become words, and it feels fun at the time. Oddly, it usually tastes like foot a few hours later.

3. Read good books
Oh man, when I find a good book, it's like my kids and my husband and my house don't exist until it's over. And let's just hope there's not a sequel....

4. Drive a car
Not so much drive (because I'm not that bad if I'm paying close attention) a car....more like HAVE a car. My house is usually kinda messy, but the inside of my car is like an obstacle course. It's pretty humiliating, but if I ever get stuck in a snowstorm, everyone in my car will be OK. We've got extra clothes, shoes, blankets, probably a 2 month supply of dropped french fries and fruit snacks, a few bottles of water, enough catalogues and unopened utility bills to keep us wishlisting for a while or start a nice fire if we get cold enough. So, maybe I just need to pack a box of matches in there and call it my mobile emergency kit.

5. Reproduce
I'd say I'm a decent Mom, but in life's genetic lottery, I'm just not sure the odds are with my kids. They're cute and smart and charming all day long, but look at their parents. These poor kids just got tossed a grab bag full of male pattern baldness, narcolepsy, attention problems, big feet, neurotic tendencies, procrastination, nail biting, knuckle cracking (various and sundry other nervous habits), chronic tardiness, irritable bowels, eczematic skin, absent-mindedness, and all around messiness. I guess we can just hope the poor things got switched at birth....

Maybe I should listen to books on tape to solve #3 and keep me from these odd mental ramblings.....