Listmania

I have to tell you something about my marriage. It's not a secret, but it bothers me, so we need to discuss it. Okay, here goes:

Ryan irritates me.

I mean, the man really bugs me. He does this strange face chewing thing when he's bored/nervous/tired/thinking that makes me instantly crazy. Not good crazy. I wish we had separate residences crazy. He can't help it, and I don't think I can either.
Other annoyances, in case you wondered, include (but are definitely not limited to):
He leaves his shoes and socks wherever he is when they come off. That is not always one place. Sometimes it makes a trail. He will never stop doing this. I'm sure of that.
He reads the last chapter of a book first. He can't take the suspense, so he does it every time. This habit also makes him unbearable company for movies, especially if he thinks you know something about the ending.
He is always late, I am always waiting on him, and he always makes me late. Because of this, we show up to church 3 out of 4 Sundays having just fought about it.

Okay, that's enough for now. I really didn't sit down here to write about how annoying my husband is. I sat down here because I have 25 other things I should be doing. Doesn't that make you feel bloggy?

Yeah, so what really has always bothered me about our marriage is that Ryan bothers me, but I don't bother him. It makes me feel terrible. I'm always going on about the socks and wondering why he can't shut up and watch the movie like everyone else, but he's never asking my why I'm weirdly obsessed with symmetry or why I have to have the silverware perfectly organized while it looks as if I couldn't care less about the rest of the house. Seriously, there are things that should bother him, but I complain alone. I even complain that he doesn't complain. I sometimes pick fights with him about what I assume is irritating him that I've recently done. I never win those. In fact, I never win any of our fights because he won't fight back. Put that on the list (toward the top, please) of things that irritate me, too. I can't believe I forgot that one.

So, anyway, I was thinking about this disparity tonight when I realized that my list making is the thing. It really makes Ryan bananas, and he can't help it. And I can't help it. I think in lists. I make lists constantly and about everything. I write them out and leave them lying around, and he never knows whether he can throw them away. He hates the clutter it creates, he hates that I make them and don't go by them, and he even hates that I'm too OCD to stop doing it. Just tonight he made a joke about my lists.

And you know what?

Just the thought feels like a victory. Now that I realize that I irritate my husband I feel freed to be even more irritated by him.

Have I ever mentioned Ryan's strange way of folding towels?