Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Why be Normal Anyway?
There is something about OCD that is so comforting to me - the surety that you'll do the same thing every time and in the same way. Can you see how appealing that kind of routine could be to someone who is as scatterbrained as I am? I wish I could get a little OCD to cover all my household chores, but for some reason I can't get mine (you know you've got a little too!) to apply in any practical ways. My main OCD behaviour is this weird obsession I've always had with balance. If I crack a knuckle on one hand, I can't rest until I've cracked the same one on the other hand. If one ear pops, I gotta get the other one to do it, and if I sleep half the night on one side and then wake up, I have to roll over. I realize this balance obsession could mean I'm actually a little unbalanced, but what bothers me is that I can't transfer it to putting away the laundry or the groceries or the clutter. And then there are times that I can get so focused on one little thing, do it exactly perfectly, and feel so proud of it, but when I look around everything else is still a shambles. I call it selective OCD (but I do realize it's really ADD). For instance, yesterday I bought a bunch of school snacks. I got home and decided that I'd portion them out, so I started scooping assorted cookies and crackers into plastic snack baggies. I checked the portion sizes at one point and realized I was giving them too much in a baggie. I actually dumped out all the baggies and (probably a little maniacally) commenced counting 16 animal crackers, 4 ginger snap cookies, etc . . . into each bag. When I was done it was a thing of beauty. I even organized the container they will all live in until they are ruthlessly devoured by certain toddlers around here. Now I realize that I spent over an hour doing all that, feeling so accomplished and organized over it; yet when I was done, I had to step over 9 or 10 giant coloring pages and crayons strewn across the floor to get to the couch covered in toys and the pjs the kids had worn the night before and surrounded by a pile of old mail I had sorted but not put away. Behind the couch is a container full of paper to be recycled that has yet to reach the recycle bin, a monstrosity of a pile of baby boy stuff I need to figure out a location for, and some speakers we've had for 6 months and never hooked up or put away. I'm certain that is their permanent home. Please, OCD Fairy, please come visit me! For longer than an hour.
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5 comments:
Jessie, my observation is that this is a comon behavioral characteristic shared by you and all of your siblings (well, not sure of the all ellusive Chris)... If you want to see some true OCD go spend some time with your dad. The man is a true creature of habit now that he's got time to concentrate on it. There are ways of getting over your "selective OCD"......... I think Melinda was pregnant with Ethan when she discovered it........ I think it's called Celexa (also included in this variety is Paxil, Prozac, Lexapro, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Luvox and other SSRI's)
Hey Jessie,
When we were at Ginger's a few weeks ago, your Dad was washing the dishes- and I do mean some dishes, when he broke into a mini tirade about how he couldn't find where anything went, how unorganized her kitchen was,blah,blah,blah and I confided in him how I was so secretly envious of all his daughters because you were all able to persue some form of creative outletting and I seemed destined to be trapped in a mind that wouldn't rest until the house was (relatively) clean because I can't think when I'm surrounded by all our clutter and homeless stuff that we need but don't have room for but wait, let's have a yard sale, but no- we don't have enough good stuff to make it worth the time and my head is spinning, averaging about 48 new ideas a minute that usually get lost only to be remembered in the shower where I can't write it down and my head feels like it is going so fast that it is going to explode w/ ideas but sorry-- gotta go do the laundry! love, mel.
I have VERY similar tendencies. I call it "organized laziness". I can be so completely organized and OCD-like about some things while my house around me goes to pot.
When you get done with her send her my way! Maybe she could help keep me focused on one thing at a time!
I struggle with this as well. YOu should see my kitchen drawers, but then don't look at my front room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom or my bedroom--all cluttered that I can't seem to keep clean, but my kitchen drawers that I organized are awesome! Too bad others can't see them.
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